External Validation Problem

No amount of achievement will create a time machine that goes back to tell 10-year old you “it’s ok that you got a B-, you should still be proud.”

We get trapped in this hamster wheel of thinking that if I just ace this next thing, I will have proven that I am valuable and worthy. We think taking the next step will allow us to rest, but taking the next step only spins the wheel more.

Someone outside and above us telling us we did well and they are proud of us seems to scratch the itch. It gives us, for the moment, the satisfaction of approval that 10-year old you wanted. Then the moment passes, life continues on, and we go back to the blueprint of how to do life. And that blueprint says achieve more so you can get that itch scratched again.

Only you can solve this. Only you can choose to stop spinning the wheel. Only you can “enough, look at what I have accomplished, I am proud.”