What it is:

• It is when your nervous system acts like something is wrong, whether there is or isn’t anything the matter. It usually begins as uncomfortable physical symptoms you want to get rid of

• Anxiety is the pain of the fear of future pain. It is the lower mind telling the higher mind that it needs to fixate on what the problem may be otherwise hurt will come

• It is the suspicion that there is a ‘tiger in the room’ and you can’t relax until the tiger is either found or you are reassured the tiger isn’t there

The Cause:

• A history of things being unpredictable so you learned that you are never really safe. If you had traumatic things happen growing up (or even at any time), the protective part of your brain kicks in because it assumes more trauma is coming

• You may have learned that it was your responsibility to manage people’s moods and be the stable one. So you are always on high alert to anticipate how things could go bad

• Numerous times anxiety pushed you to take certain actions (such as avoidance, reassurance seeking, etc.) and when nothing bad happened the anxiety said “see, that just proves that it is I that protected you. So next time I am gonna be twice as loud”

The Cost:

• You focus less on things like long-term planning and having fun, focusing instead on short-term survival

• Your body pays the price. The physical symptoms, the loss of sleep, the constant flow of adrenaline, they all wreak havoc on your physical health

• Your relationships and work suffer: seeking constant reassurance or control can put people off. You may burnout faster. You may be less present and loving to the people around you

The Way Out:

• Be clear that this is just your nervous system trying its best, not a personal flaw. Figure out what your triggers are, the behaviors they lead to, and the thoughts they cause when the alarm goes off

• Build tolerance for the symptoms of anxiety rather than taking some action. Sit with the sensations without interpreting them. This teaches the anxiety a new lesson: that things will usually be fine whether you are anxious or not

• Work out with a friend or therapist whether the thoughts you have are rational or not